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Found this with StumbleUpon (the greatest add-on EVER!). Thought it was amusing.

All the quotes are taken word for word from fundamentalist forums. It made me /facepalm many times.

I was just sitting here reflecting on the fact that I will be turning 30 in about three months, and after my heart slowed down, I started thinking about all the things I would like to do.

Many of the things I have in my head are pure fantasy, and if I told anyone, they’d probably say “Dude, you’re 30, are you serious?”

But hey, having goals and ideas about ones life are important, right?

So here, in no particular order, is a list of stupid and not-so-stupid things that I would like to do. I’ll let you decide which ones are stupid and which are not. Feedback is welcome, but don’t step on my twisted dreams.

1. Go back to Australia and go on a walk-about.

What is it: Basically it’s running away from everything and living in the bush for a period of time. Officially, I suppose, it’s only undertaken by Australian Aboriginals, but I would hope that wouldn’t be a sticking point.

Why do I want to do it: I can’t think of any way to experience freedom more profoundly than by simply disappearing into oneself for a long period of time, far away from modern life. No cell. No computer. No TV. No people. Pure freedom.

What’s stopping me: Money or time. Take your pick. And knowledge. Living alone in the wilderness for any period of time would take some experience that I don’t think I got from boy scouts… as good as they were.

2. Learn to Play the Guitar

What is it: The guitar. I’m not talking being able to just strum along to a beat, but I’m talking real melodic guitar riffs.

Why do I want to do it: Many of my friends and most of my family is very proficient in music. I am not. Everyone knows that people say “You will regret it later if you stop taking piano lessons”. Well, they were right. I do regret it, a lot. To be able to pick up the guitar and play a song would just be amazing. To be able to play with a 6 string what I can barely manage on Guitar Hero would truly be an accomplishment for me. Playing music is a creative endeavor, something which I have been lacking for the past decade or so.

What’s stopping me: I have a guitar. I have DVDs. I have the internet. But every time I try to pick up the damn thing, I get frustrated with nothing sounding right and give up. From the people I know who can play and have picked up the guitar I have, they tell me the action on it is VERY difficult for beginners; so perhaps I just need a different guitar and a set of instructions. Then again, I may actually need a teacher.

3. Learn to Do a Handstand

What is it: It’s a friggin handstand.

Why do I want to do it: It’s just awesome. Come on, wouldn’t you like to be able to do a handstand?!

What’s stopping me: My floor is very hard. I now have bruised knees. So basically, a mat. Common-sense is something I lack in this area, so that is not stopping me.

4. Get A Six Pack

What is it: No, not beer. Abs.

Why do I want to do it: I think a well defined body is the pinnacle of discipline and willpower and after a decade of working out, I can assure you, getting your abs to show is the hardest thing to do. Is it vanity? I hope not and I don’t think so. It’s just one of those things where I really look at myself and go “I can do that!” and work towards it. Plus, it’s an image of health, and I am very very afraid of mortality; I want to stave off death as long as possible. Hopefully until science and technology make it obsolete.

What’s stopping me: Nothing really. Just takes a long time and a lot of trial and error because everyone’s body responds differently.

5. Go Back To New Zealand

What is it: Land of the Long White Cloud. I want to go back and spend at least a summer there.

Why do I want to do it: I didn’t get long enough when i was there the last time and would like to head down with a car and a map and nothing else. Already have the citizenship.

What’s stopping me: Money or time. Again.

6. Make a Movie

What is it: A film. Fictional in nature. I’ve wanted to make one since I was a kid, and it’s one dream I refuse to let go of.

Why do I want to do it: Creative expression. Films are one of the few things I truly enjoy without reservation. If I can’t find anyone to watch with me, I watch alone. I love the medium for telling a story.

What’s stopping me: A complete story. I have many ideas, now if I could just get one written into a complete narrative, I’d have a starting point. Sadly, every time I try, I don’t like the results. But I’m not giving up.

7. Finish a Degree

What is it: I have about half of the required courses for a BA in pretty much anything. I’d like to get that piece of paper someday.

Why do I want to do it: I honestly don’t know why. I think about it quite a bit when I reflect; why do I want my degree? In today’s economic world, a BA doesn’t mean a whole heck of a lot. Where the BA stood in the 70’s, the MBA is now standing. Nevertheless, it’s something I would like to get done.

What’s stopping me: I have no idea WHAT I want to get my BA in. Every time I try, the universities make it so RIDICULOUSLY difficult to complete that I give up after a few courses. I would like a clear, concise list of exactly what I need to take in order to get the stupid thing, but it seems difficult to get that list. And, why is it so hard to register for individual courses at universities? I want to give you my money so that I can learn something, yet you make me apply for a whole damn program before I can take anything.

8. Learn More About Genetics and Biology

What is it: Title was fairly self-explanatory on this one.

Why do I want to do it: A better understanding of the world.

What’s stopping me: Laziness or procrastination. That’s all really. I even know which books to start with, they’re expensive, but not out of the realm of reality.

9. Become More Mechanically Adept

What is it: My dad can fix anything. I would like to absorb the knowledge that he has a little bit more efficiently than I have over the past 30 years.

Why do I want to do it: It surprises me how little people of my generation know about how things work on a practical level. I don’t want to be stuck with a broken pipe scratching my head while water spills onto the floor. Or be unable to understand why a pilot light is necessary. Basically a fear of ignorance.

What’s stopping me: Nothing. Not any more. Well, aside from proximity to the knowledge.

10. Have More Parties and Spend More Time With My Friends

What is it: Barbecues, Parties, Dinners, Events, GATHERINGS!

Why do I want to do it: I’m finding my social circle is drifting as we get older. People have less time and are more tired. They don’t have the energy to partake. I’m the same way. But I want to make a conscious effort to change that.

What’s stopping me: Nothing. I don’t have anywhere to really host (I don’t actually have any tables or chairs in my current abode), but there are ways around that.

11. Spend More Time With My Family

What is it: I don’t live with them any more, so I don’t get to see them as much as I would like.

Why do I want to do it: I dunno, they’re nice.

What’s stopping me: Scheduling conflicts; each of us always seem to have something else going on when the others are free.

Anyways, those were just some things floating around my head. I don’t think there’s anything too crazy on there. And by no means is this a complete list at all.

Anybody else have things they want to do? Share em. Maybe you’ll find encouragement.

I just had to post this.

Enjoy.

1337 Parents!

I posted a review of “Moon” over at Media Junkies. Reposting it here.

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I went to see “Moon” on Tuesday evening with my brother at AMC and wanted to give a few impressions.

First, it is a good movie. It’s not exactly high-brow science-fiction like “The Man From Earth”, but nor is it a monument to stupidity like “Next” (I’m not saying “Next” was bad… it had one particularily inventive sequence, just that it was pretty dumb).

When the trailer first came out for the movie, I told my brother “ok, so this movie looks worth seeing, but I’ll bet you I can nail down exactly what happens from beginning to end just from that trailer.”

I was right on all plot points. But the “twists” aren’t the reason to see this movie, it’s the job that Sam Rockwell does as this isolated babysitter of a station on the far side of the moon.

Brief outline without spoilers; Sam Rockwell is a contractor for a company that mines “H3″ from the far side of the moon to provide energy for the Earth. “H3″ apparently saved us all from the energy crisis and we no longer rely on Earth-based fuel sources. He’s on a three year contract to look after this mining station all by himself (I found it kind of odd that one dude was entrusted to watch over the station giving the Earth 90% of its energy, but whatever). With two weeks left on his contract, there’s an accident with one of the mining drones and upon checking it out, there’s an accident.

I won’t go any further than that.

Watching Sam interact with his robot nanny (voiced by Kevin Spacey) is interesting and I really enjoyed that aspect. Sam Rockwell just does a great job all around with this. It’s very hard to write much about his performance without spoiling things.

Wow, this has turned into a really crappy review because I can’t say anything without spoiling it…

Atmosphere is great; very good at evoking the isolation of the situation. The minimal music score is put to excellent use. The set design is very reminiscent of “Alien” giving hte habitat a very “lived in” feel.

So overall, I recommend seeing “Moon”. I would also recommend seeing it in a theater as lower-budget indy films like this need to be encouraged so we see more of them.

That is all.

So… Twilight. I have more or less avoided the Twilight series of books since they first appeared on my periphery. I love vampire lore, but I figured they would be a lot like the Anne Rice novels and bore me to undeath (thank you, I’m here all week).

But, one day someone posted a rip of the DVD and I was bored so I downloaded it (yes, I’m a pirate, sue me… no wait… don’t.)

I’m very happy that I did.

Over the years, there have been many vampire films. They are in fact a sub-genre of their own cropping up in the settings of Comedy (Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Once Bitten), Historical Drama (Dracula, Interview with the Vampire), Horror (30 Days of Night, Fright Night), Drama (Let the Right One In, I Am Legend), Action (Underworld, Blade), and on and on. I actually stumbled upon a site yesterday listing the top 70 vampire films. In most cases, there is something brought to the table that I like in this genre; a new take on the very well established lore or an interesting premise or setting for the narrative (30 Days of Night, for example, had a wonderful idea of setting it in a location where daylight doesn’t come for… err… 30 days… despite its’ flaws, I enjoyed that film).

But I was avoiding Twilight because it seemed overly “girly” and based upon the trailers, very cliché.

From what I saw of the trailers, here’s the beat-by-beat of what I thought the movie was going to be:
1. Girl moves to small town - Check
2. Girl meets strange boy - Check
3. Boy turns out to be vampire - Check
4. Boys family rejects girl and boy has to chose between family and girl - Che… wait… what? Whoa. Totally missed this one.

And that’s where it gets really interesting and different.

Although there is a small amount of animosity between a couple of the Cullen family members and the heroine (Bella), the family tries very hard to accept her and I found this to be a very unique take.

There is one scene where Edward (boy come Vampire) brings Bella to meet his family and I was expecting some severe smoldering or outright animosity by the family however, aside from one member, the family seems to act in much the same way a stereotypical American family would react to their son bringing over a girl he likes, they trip over themselves to please. And I loved this sequence. I wish it had been played out longer.

Obviously, the main characters in the film are Edward and Bella, however, the most interesting character to me, by far, was Dr Carlisle Cullen, the patriarch of the family. He is a “vegetarian” vampire and leader/sire of this clan. They do not hunt humans and subside only on animal meat. I would love to see an entire story played out showing his history because I get the impression from the film that he is VERY old; similar to Lestat in the Anne Rice stories. I think his past could be very lush and interesting. He is pre-occupied with not being a monster and has instilled that into his family. There is an interesting exchange in the credit sequence at the beginning and later on between the Cullen’s and a local first nations clan which looks like it could play out quite expansively in later stories.

Anyways, I greatly enjoyed the movie, aside from the doe-eyed teenage romance… er… crap. So I went and picked up the first two books in the series; Twilight and New Moon. I’m halfway through Twilight and it is definitely a more robust story, as source material normally is, but oh my god, Bella’s internal monologue had me actually saying “Who cares?!” out loud (in my quite empty and lonely apartment) on quite a few instances (example, Bella goes to help some new friends try on dresses for the school dance and all of a sudden Edward, WHO IS A FRIGGIN VAMPIRE, is put to the wayside in order to comment on how the dress her friend has picked brings out her eyes… wtf). But other than these diatribes (which, sadly, are quite frequent) the novel is quite good. I’m hoping to learn more about the history of the Cullen’s and the Native Americans, which, unless I’m really off the mark, are probably going to have a bit of a canine problem in upcoming installments.

So, Twilight… movie, thumbs up. Book, also thumbs up, but you may skim a few sections of female teenage angst.

Oh, one more thing, it is very clear, very early on, that Bella thinks Edward is “gorgeous” (even given that his skin is whiter than mine and I haven’t seen sunlight since September). For some reason, the author, Stephanie Meyer, seems to find it necessary to repeat this several dozen times per chapter. I found it quite tiresome after a little while.

Thought this was incredibly creative and a nice song to boot.

I try not to put too much World of Warcraft content on this blog because, well, frankly, not a lot of you play it. However, there was a video I found the other day that I just really really loved and I thought it was worthy of viewing even if you don’t know the lore behind it.

What I think the animator did, was take the WoW models (characters and environments) and use a rigging and animating system (possibly 3DStudio? I’m not really following current animation tools) and combine them to great effect.

There’s actually an in-game video simlar to this in Wrath of the Lich King. Blizzard should bring this chap on board and create more of these, because when employed properly, they add a lot of depth to the story.

(I suggest moving your mouse over the embed and clicking on the HD link to watch at higher resolution)

The Craft of War: BLIND from percula on Vimeo.

As another year comes to a close, I just was thinking of how few movies have really stuck out in my mind as real “winners” this year. There were a lot of good movies, but very few omgwtfbbqsauceawesome movies.

And so, I present, My Favorite Movies of 2008 (so far).

In no particular order…

Let The Right One In - My last blog post was unadulterated love for this film, and I still feel this way. I cannot wait to get a retail copy of this, hopefully with some English language extras. I will also be getting the book upon which is based shortly.

Gran Torino - Watched this film last night. Great piece of film. I love watching Clint Eastwood on screen, he’s just such a badass in all his films with such great scathing humour. I found the story to be very “by the numbers” but that didn’t detract from the movie at all. Great acting and wonderful characters.

Wall-E - If I had to pick a Best of the Year, Wall-E would probably be it (The Dark Knight and Let The Right One In coming in close behind). If you haven’t seen it, you’re doing yourself a disservice. If you haven’t seen it on a big screen, you’re doing yourself a larger disservice. Wall-E will be, without question, the first BluRay film I purchase when I get a PS3.

Iron Man - One of three excellent comic book adaptations this year, Iron Man’s strongest points are the direction of Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. This film realizes what it is and turns the superhero archetype on its head. Loved it, especially the Mark I armor.

The Dark Knight - Without question, the best comic book film to date. Everyone involved with this franchise has done a fantastic job on these films (yes, I even commend Katie Holmes from Batman Begins). Heath Ledger’s turn as the Joker was so perfect, it hurts every time I watch it knowing that we will see no more from him. Even if you are not a comic book fan, this is a fantastic piece of film.

Red Belt - From the earlier part of the year, this David Mamet film is an interesting and unique take on the competitive fighting circuit. I really enjoyed the acting and the dialogue throughout. David Mamet is one of my favorite dialogue writers, up there with Kevin Smith (are those really dialogues? I guess they’re just monologues really…) and Aaron Sorkin.

Hancock (the first half) - The first half of this film is a very unique and interesting take on superheroes. Just the premise alone of “what if superman was the only superhero what if he was a drunk bum?” is friggin cool. The second half falls apart completely, but the first half was excellent.

Wanted - Is it a good movie? No. Hell no. Is it fun? Hell yes. This is basically Harry Potter for kids of the NRA. The outlandish stunts and situations in this are totally cool if you can just turn your brain off for a couple of hours. Angelina Jolie needs to eat more though.

The Incredible Hulk - I really really enjoyed this. I think it’s a great “reboot” of the franchise and I HOPE that it is continued. The integration of Iron Man at the end of this gives me great hope for the future Marvel films, specifically “The Avengers”. I think Edward Norton did a fine job, however it feels that there was a lot cut from this film. Perhaps one day we will see a director’s cut.

Cloverfield - I hate camcorder films. I walked out of Blair Witch. This film blew me away, though. Basically looking at a Godzilla film and saying “What if one of those Japanese guys running away had a camera? What story would he tell?” makes this my winner for most unique premise of the year. I’m curious to see what they do with the “sequel”. I would imagine it will be a parallel film telling another story that happens that night.

Forbidden Kingdom - Jet Li vs Jackie Chan. Seriously? Do we need anything else? Full of win.

Rambo - I really liked Rambo. Some people didn’t. I think that First Blood is truly one of the great “guy” films of all time and the character of John Rambo is really intriguing to me. The only thing that really pissed me off was the fact that when I went to see this, the moronic couple in front of me decided to bring their toddler… this is a movie that opens with bodies being dismembered by the corrupt Burma government.

Speed Racer - It was a hell of a lot of fun. It was like watching a video game on a giant screen and that wasn’t a bad thing.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Could it have been better? Yes. Should George Lucas have only co-written the story and handed off the script to another writer? Probably. But it was Henry Jones Jr. back on the big screen. And you know what? Aside from the horrible (horrible horrible) Tarzan sequence, Shia Lebeuf was just fine.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - This is the guy that’s going to be making The Hobbit movies (yes, they’re making 2) and I don’t think they could have picked a better chap. Hellboy 2 was visually beautiful and I thought the characters were very complex and well motivated.

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan - This one made me laugh, a lot.

I Am Legend (except the ending) - Another Will Smith film that I loved, for the most part. The ending that they released wasn’t at all what I would have liked (not to mention they really painted themselves into a corner with sequel possibility on that one…) but the first half of this movie was phenomenal and the second half was strong too. I really like Will Smith.

Still Anticipating

Below are the movies that I’m still anticipating for 2008. Some have been out for a while, but I just haven’t had time or access to see them.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Defiance
Valkyrie
Repo! The Genetic Opera!
Quantum of Solace (yes, I saw it, but I was in the third row, I have no idea what I was watching… could have been Sex in the City)
In Bruges
Definitely, Maybe
Che
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Anything I missed?